Broken
by pinkcat4569
Summary: Jess gets injured, bringing consequences for her and Becker, good and bad. Re-edited, some chapters are re-written to a Teen rating.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Broken

AUTHOR: Pinkcat4569

RATING: T for violence. Originally, later chapters were adult. It's been re-edited and changed to keep the T rating.

DESCRIPTION: Jess is hurt, bringing consequences for her and Becker, both good and bad.

SPOILERS: SERIES 5

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Primeval or the characters

Chapter One-

Jess clicked her heels across the break room. Becker was returning a mug to the cabinet.

"Just my luck," she said, "A few minutes earlier, and we could have had break together."

"It's just as well, Jess. I had a short break today, and I didn't need ...distractions," he said, looking at her legs.

"Captain Becker," she said in mock offense, "what are you staring at?"

He smiled cheekily. "The floor Jessica, obviously the floor." He winked and sauntered out.

Jess took a moment to watch him leave, smiling to herself. The, she made herself a cup of tea.

Suddenly, alarms blared. Jess immediately ran to her station. No anomalies. No, this was an internal alarm. She checked her screens. The menagerie was secure. Then she clicked on the loading bay. She gasped.

It was horrible. Overturned trucks, bodies, pieces of bodies, and blood lay everywhere. She was horrified and scared. This carnage was everywhere. Another claxon rang. The comms went nuts, too many voices screaming and yelling. Finally, she was able to single out one voice.

"Jess, we've got a creature on the loose! Some sort of carnivorous dinosaur. Initiate partial lockdown, the sections nearest from loading bay. The rest of the ARC should be secure one we're locked down," said Becker.

"Right," said Jess. "Partial lockdown. I've also set emergency complete lockdown, just in case. Where exactly is the thing?"

"Don't exactly know. It's out of the loading bay. Can you find it?"

"Becker, can I find it?" she teased, trying to get her heart to slow down. "Bingo! Heading for...here...the control room."

"Jess! Out! Now!"

Immediately after she heard his commands, she heard the dinosaur. In the control room with her were four other people. On instinct, all four grouped together by the ADD. Jess was still seated, still linked to the comms, with her hands on the keyboard.

They heard and felt its footsteps. All five people froze. It was coming.

"Becker..." whispered Jess.

"Jess! Get out of there!"

"It's too late," she whispered. The dinosaur was visible. It broke through the doors, smashing everything in its path. "It sees us."

They were petrified: scared and still. What could they do? It held still for now, it mimicking their non-movement. They all knew if they made any moves, it would pounce, as well as a mega-ton animal could. The other members in the control room were all techs: Lisa, Allen, Habib, and Jasmine.

Habib whispered, "Will it just...go away...if we're still?"

"Go away? The other exit is past us," whispered Lisa back. "Should we make a run for it?"

"Why is it just standing there?" asked Allen. "Where the hell are the soldiers?"

The dinosaur was making an eerie, disturbing guttural moan. It moved one leg, cocked its head and roared. It had its prey cornered, and it knew it. It roared again. All five human beings began to cry, scream or moan.

Dinosaurs are slow and clumsy in the movies. This dinosaur was smaller than a t-Rex but bigger than raptors. It had the teeth and claws of its Rex cousin and like raptors it had speed.

It was the speed which sealed the fate of the crew in the control room. The comms filled with screams, roars, crashing sounds, and sickening bone crunching. Everyone on the other end of the comms heard it and felt ill. The last sound Becker heard was a soft sentence that brought tears to his eyes.

It was Jess saying, "Goodbye Becker. Don't blame yourself."

Then the comm signal from the control room went dead.

End Chapter One.

Author's Note: I posted somewhere that I don't do angst. This is pretty angsty. Everything, well most everything, will be OK. I promise. Chapter Two ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two, Broken

Becker had never run so fast, and yet, it felt like he took too long. He had to get to the control room, and Jess. He didn't even try to hold the tears in when she said goodbye.

Becker and his men finally entered the control room. They were greeted by electrical explosions, exposed wires, ruined equipment, and bodies, actually parts of bodies. It was gruesome.

It was eerily quiet; a slow chewing sound came from the ADD. Becker almost threw up.

He forced himself together and moved to the ADD. There was a dinosaur to take care of. He neared it, but it paid Becker no mind. It focused on its task. The chewing, it turned out was of the ADD. The dinosaur was trying to chew through it. Becker watched it poking its head into the crumpled mass that had been the ADD. It growled in frustration. It looked like it was digging, and having a hard time of it.

It still had not seen Becker. He motioned to half his men, and they quietly circled around on the other side. They surrounded the dinosaur. On Becker's signal, they all opened fire with the EMDs. The dinosaur flailed around as the shocks ran through it. It then fell, just missing the ADD mess.

With frenzied movement Becker began digging in the ADD pile. With no word or question, his men did likewise.

Becker heard Matt's voice. "Mate, what are you doing? I'm sorry but Jess is..." he gestured to the disgusting, bloody, biological mess around them.

"She's here!" screamed Becker. "I see her!"

Matt and the soldiers crammed in around to see.

"Holy shit!" said Matt. "I don't believe it." He turned and started screaming for the medics. Even though no one expected survivors, the dedicated medical staff had rushed to the control room.

Becker kept his place, trying desperately to reach down to her. His tears had come back. His men were carefully digging down to her.

Finally, Becker could touch her hair. It was the only place he dared touch. He didn't know how badly crushed she'd been or if the dinosaur had gotten any physical contact before she was buried.

A medic rushed over, but couldn't get close. His men dragged Becker far enough away so the medical team could get in.

A horrible minute later, a medic looked at Becker with an incredulous, pleased face.

"She's alive," she said. "I don't how badly hurt she is, but... she's alive." The female medic chuckled in relief. They had a survivor.

The medical staff put Jess on a stretcher. Before she left, the first medic touched Becker's arm.

"We'll do our best, and she has given us a chance. Try to hang on to that—a chance." She turned and followed the procession to the medical bay.

Becker watched them leave. He was in shock. It took him a moment to realize that Matt, Abby, Emily, Connor, and Lester were all in the room.

Lester moved to action. He was the director for a reason. Time to direct.

"Right. Matt, Becker, you lot," he looked at Connor, Abby, and Emily. "Go to medical bay. Stay with Miss Parker," he noticed Becker start to protest, "that's an order, Captain. We can manage without you."

The soldiers all agreed. Becker handed his EMD to Lt. Flowers and put him in charge of the men. Becker left the carnage and followed the team to medical.

It was a long wait. At times Emily came to sit by Becker. Once he even let her hold his hand. A couple hours into their vigil, Abby tried to get him to nibble on a sandwich. He couldn't eat.

Lester came and went. He was desperate for word on Jess, but he had a control room to put back in order, and ADD to replace, and families to notify. Connor was needed to get the backup ADD running, which he did quickly, then came straight back to wait, in disturbing silence.

Matt sat with his head in his hands or his arms around Emily. Abby was almost as restless as Becker. They took turns pacing and asking the nurses for word.

Finally, a doctor appeared.

End Chapter Two


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three, Broken

"Miss Parker is stable." The doctor paused as everyone sighed in relief. "That young woman was incredibly lucky. No bites or scratches of the dinosaur-variety and no vital organs crushed."

"She has two bruised ribs. Her abdomen has sustained intense bruising but no lasting damage. Her back is a little concerning. Her spine is not fractured or crushed, but a significant strain was put on it. The debris apparently fell on top of her, pinning her face down. The injuries to her abdomen reflect this, as does the bruising on the ribs."

"I hate to keep repeating myself, but she was lucky. Any more weight, any greater force of the impact and she would have had severe spinal damage. It's also fortunate you got to her so quickly."

"That's thanks to you Becker," said Matt. "I didn't think she was there." Connor patted Becker's back, and Abby looked at him with teary eyes. Becker said nothing.

"So are you saying the damage is not permanent?" asked Lester.

"It shouldn't be," said the doctor. "I'm concerned because it is bad bruising, but if she takes it easy, avoids any strain, she should make a full recovery." Again, the doctor paused as everyone absorbed the good news.

"Her back will be incredibly sore, of course. She'll need care, someone to make sure she doesn't strain it. She should rest and not do anything strenuous the first few days. She doesn't have to be bed ridden; she should use the muscles gently, at first. Just keep her from running any marathons. She's also going to be on some pretty heavy painkillers, so keep an eye on her."

Abby threw her arms around Connor and they both chuckled. Matt and Lester smiled, and Emily kissed Becker on the cheek. Becker fought back tears.

"There is one more thing," said the doctor. "We all saw that room. I don't' know what Miss Parker witnessed before she was trapped. I can only imagine that it was traumatic. I would recommend counseling. Plus, you, her friends can do a lot to remind her that she is now safe. You might gently encourage her to talk, once she's stronger. Don't push her though. She has to deal with the trauma at her own pace."

Everyone nodded, and Lester thanked the doctor and shook his hand. Jess was asleep, and the doctor didn't want her overwhelmed, so they decided to take turns sitting beside her. Abby and Becker went in first.

Jess looked fine lying in the bed. It was only as they moved closer that they saw she had a nasty cut on her lips and several smaller cuts on her chin and side of her face. Other than that, she looked normal.

Abby touched her hair, and whispered, "Hey, Jess. It's Abby. We're here, me and Becker. Actually everyone is here, but the rest of the group's outside in the hall."

Becker put a hand on Abby's shoulder and motioned to a chair by Jess' bed. Abby sat, stretching her arm to hold Jess's hand. Becker had picked up the other chair and placed it next to Abby. They sat in silence for a moment.

"Talk to her Becker," said Abby.

"She's asleep," whispered Becker.

"So, she can still hear you."

"Which is why I don't want to say anything and wake her up."

"She needs to know you're here."

"Abby, you told her I was here."

"She needs to hear your voice," said Abby.

"She's hearing my voice right now."

Abby grunted. She leaned closer to Jess. "Why are men so frustrating?"

The door opened, and Lester motioned to Abby to come out. Becker moved to Abby's chair. Jess looked peaceful, no hint of the horrible ordeal on her face. Becker sighed.

"I'm so incredibly glad that you're all right, or at least you will be."

He leaned over the bed, lightly grabbing her hand. "When you... said goodbye to me," he said, tearing up, "I didn't know how I was going to go on...if you weren't here." He reached his other hand out and stroked her hair.

"I tried to get to you," he said, a tear falling. He wiped it away, and took a deep breath.

"I'm here now, and I'm not leaving you. I'm going to stay with you until you're all better." He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I'm going to take care of you," then he chuckled and said, "whether you want me to or not."

Connor poked his head in. "Hey, I just wanted to say hi."

Becker waved him over, but didn't give him the seat closer to Jess.

"She looks good." Becker shot him a dirty look. "I mean, for what happened she looks good. Not that she doesn't always look good. Not that I look, I mean...I love Abby."

Becker laughed, an honest to goodness laugh. As he did, he felt Jess' hand move.

"Jess?" asked Becker, but she didn't wake up. Connor saw the disappointment in Becker's face.

"Hey, Action Man, I wanted to tell you that Abby's gone for a bit. They need her help transporting the..."

"After what it did I say kill it."

"Yeah, don't necessarily disagree with you, but Abby...anyway...Emily wondered if you wanted her to come in."

"Sure, send her in."

Connor didn't move, he kept looking at Jess. Becker realized that he was close to Jess, like a brother to her.

"Connor, you stay for a minute, and I'll get Emily," he said, moving so Connor could take his seat.

"I thought you said you wouldn't leave me," came a soft, sleepy reply.

End of Chapter Three


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4, Broken

"Jess!" cried Becker, softly. He ran to her side. "You're awake," he said, happily. He sat back down, and took her hand. "Hi, beautiful," he said tenderly.

He didn't notice the amused expression on Connor's face. Lucky for Connor.

Jess smiled. "Hi." She looked at her hand entwined in Becker's. Had she missed something? This was a lot of emotion for Becker. She saw Connor standing next to Becker's chair, an equally happy look on his face.

Then she looked around the room, recognized it as the medical section, and everything came screeching back to her.

A terrified expression came over her face and she gripped Becker's hand franticly. "The dinosaur...Jasmine, Lisa, Habib, and Allen," she said as she began to sob hysterically. "They're dead...all dead," she sobbed, and then tried to turn to Becker. She screamed in pain.

"It's alright," said Becker trying to hold her down. "Jess calm down,"

"It hurts!"

"I know, I know sweetheart," he said, soft and caring, but he raised his head to Connor and changed to a desperate tone, "Get a doctor!"

Connor nodded and ran.

Jess cried, and tried to thrash, but Becker held her still.

"What happened Becker? Did it get me? Did the dinosaur..."

"No Jess, no. You're OK."

"My back hurts. It hurts!"

She sobbed, and shut her eyes, whimpering.

"I know. You were...pinned under the ADD."

Her eyes shot open. "I remember...Ow! It fell on me. The dinosaur was coming for me and it knocked the ADD over. Ow!"

"Easy, Jess, easy. We'll talk about it later, but you're safe."

As he said "safe," her eyes locked on his. "I'm safe," she whispered, tears running down. She looked at him, still, for a second, and then screamed in pain.

A nurse, a doctor, and Emily burst in. The nurse went right to the I.V. and made an injection.

"Miss Parker, you need to calm down," said the doctor firmly.

Jess began to thrash again.

"Jess stop it, you're going to hurt your back more," said Becker.

"It hurts now! Make it stop!"

"We will," said the doctor. "We've just given you something for the pain..."

"It isn't working!"

"Give it a chance, Miss Parker," said the doctor, but Jess kept trying to move.

Becker grabbed her face. "Look at me, Jess, look at me," he said firmly. "The pain will go away," she started shaking her head no, but he kept talking. "It will. I promise. You're alive. You're going to get better. It's kind of good you're feeling pain." Jess cried louder as he said that.

"Perhaps that is not the best choice of phrase, Captain," said Emily.

"No, the captain's right. You can feel, Miss Parker. The nerves and muscles in your back are telling you that they still work. They're fine."

"This is fine?" screamed Jess, but she couldn't move much, because Becker still had her head in his hands.

"You're hurt, but you're not paralyzed," continued the doctor in his ultra-calm voice. "I promise you, this will not last. We've given you a sedative, so just try to relax."

Jess began crying again. Becker stayed where he was, which was an awkward position. He hovered over her, avoiding her injuries.

"Let's think of something to get your mind off," said Becker. Jess whimpered. "Shoes," he said. "What kind of shoes shall I buy you? What color don't you have?'

"Don't be stupid Becker," she snarled, "I have every color."

Becker couldn't help but chuckle. "How about blue? New blue shoes to go with your eyes."

Jess kept crying and whimpering. "Help me, please."

Emily spoke up, "My eyes are green. The captain shall buy you green shoes as well."

"There you go Jess, two new pairs of shoes," said Becker.

Jess screamed, but slightly less intense.

"My eyes are several colors. Shall he buy you mufti-color shoes too?" added the doctor. "What color are your eyes, Captain?"

"Brown," said Jess, gasping. "His eyes are beautiful...chocolate brown."

"Chocolate, too," said Becker. "I'll bring you mounds of chocolate, as soon as you can eat it."

Jess kept gasping, but as the minutes passed, she no longer screamed. Eventually, Becker released her. He held on to her hand though.

"There you are, Miss Parker," said the doctor. "Better?"

She nodded, but never took her eyes from Becker.

"Good," said the doctor, who patted Becker on the back. "Good job," he whispered to Becker, and left.

Becker rubbed her hand and smiled.

"Don't leave me," she whispered.

"I won't. I promise."

Emily sat in the second chair. "I am keeping track. You will buy her four pairs of shoes, and a large amount of chocolate."

Becker laughed. "I will," he said.

Jess smiled. After a few seconds she said, "I'll need new outfits...go with...new shoes," she said tiredly.

Becker and Emily both laughed.

"I believe she is feeling better, Captain."

"Yeah, and that's worth any amount of money," he whispered. Jess grinned and fell back to sleep.

The other ARC members took turns popping in and out, but Becker remained. He was even allowed to spend the night, sleeping beside her in her chair. He didn't eat, and only left to go to the bathroom.

Occasionally, Jess would whimper, but Becker was right there.

"Sh, Jess. It's OK. I'm here. You're fine," he said soothingly. She'd even out her breathing, and stop whimpering.

Around 3 AM she screamed herself awake. "It's got me! It bit my back, oh God! It's got my back!"

Becker pressed the 'nurse' button while he spoke softly to Jess. His words weren't working. So, he tried to hug her, gently grabbing her head.

"No, it doesn't. It's gone. You're in the medical bay, remember? The ADD fell on you. There's no dinosaur, no danger. I'm here."

Jess managed to grab his arm, and laid her head into it and his chest, as far as the pain would let her.

"It tore them..." she said sobbing.

"Sh...I know. I'm so sorry, but that's over. Look, you're in a nice, white bed. I'm here. It's over. Safe, you're safe."

The nurse came in, prepared with a sedative and pain medicine, gave it to Jess, smiled at the couple, and left.

Becker had squeezed onto the bed next to Jess. She clung to him, afraid to let him go. She fell asleep, lying straight on the bed, her head turned very slightly into him.

They lay that way until the nurses came in the morning to take her vitals, change her sheets, and so on. It was the first time Becker had been away from her for more than five minutes in about eighteen hours.

He sat in the waiting room, and suddenly a coffee and muffin appeared in thin air in front of him. He looked up to see the items being held by none other than James Lester.

"Lester?"

"What? I do work here, and I knew you'd still be here. It would look bad on my part to have my head of security passing out from hunger and fatigue. Now, eat your breakfast. Then go down to the locker room and showers, freshen up, and grab another coffee on the way back up here, you'll need it."

"I can't leave her."

Lester rolled his eyes. "I am hardly deploying you to Afghanistan. You aren't even leaving the building. I, myself, will stay with Miss Parker until you walk back into her room. But I warn you, if you do not pass my inspection upon returning, I will not allow you to stay. Now, go, and in case you were wondering that is an order, a super, double commanded order. Lester out."

He shoved the breakfast into Becker's arms, then turned on his heels and went to Miss Parker's room.

"They're changing her," said Becker. "She might not be decent."

Just as professional and proper, Lester walked briskly back into the waiting room. "Everything I said still goes...and shut up."

Becker smirked as he chewed.

End Chapter Four


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five, Broken

Becker walked into Jess' room to find Lester reading a woman's magazine out loud to Jess.

"Ah, Captain Becker, back so soon." Lester checked his watch. "See, what did I tell you, Jess, 27 minutes."

He laid the magazine on Jess' bed and approached Becker. "I bet her you'd be back in less than half an hour. Now, let's have a look—clean, wet hair, good—mostly shaved face, acceptable-fresh uniform, good—and alert eyes, even if they are blood shot, acceptable. You may stay, Captain."

Both men heard a soft giggle from the bed. Becker noticed the relieved, happy look on Lester's face, even if it was brief.

"I will take my leave. I took the liberty of assigning Lt. Flowers to fill in for you today. I'll be back later, to make sure things are moving progressively along."

"Thank you Lester," said Jess softly.

Lester smiled. "You get better, soon, the ARC's a mess." With that, Mr. Lester left the medical section.

"Hi," said Becker, moving into his chair.

Jess smiled, but then looked down. "I woke up and you weren't here..."

"I'm so sorry. First the nurses chased me out and then Lester..."

"I wasn't scolding you," said Jess. "I wanted to apologize."

Becker looked incredulous. "What on earth for?"

"For doubting you, even for a second. I knew you'd be back, but...I was scared," she started to tear up.

Becker leaned across and kissed her head. "Don't apologize."

"Becker, if I moved over, would you hold me like last night?"

"I would, of course, but I don't think you should move."

"It's alright, just for a second, the nurses had to move me to change everything. They just don't want me to move a lot, and I would feel less scared if you held me."

Becker smiled and helped her scoot. Jess winced in pain, but she was right, it was only for a moment. Becker eased himself on the bed, as carefully as he could. Once on the bed, he put his arms around her, and she laid her head on his chest.

"So, did Lester find anything interesting?" he asked as he picked up the magazine.

Jess smiled. "He seemed particular to the sweaters."

Becker turned to the sweaters page and whistled. "Shame on him, he's a married man. Aren't the models wearing them kind of tight?"

Jess yawned. "I like tight sweaters," she said sleepily.

Becker smiled."So do most men," he said. He watched her slowly fall asleep. She slept for hours. Unlike last night, there were no screams or whimpers.

Becker fell asleep too, and the nurses let them be.

Later in the day, Becker was chased out again, so the doctor could examine her back. He let Becker back in to give him the news that the bruising was better today. Jess could go home tomorrow, provided someone stayed with her. She would be on muscle relaxers as well as the pain pills, and she might get loopy.

Becker insisted on taking her to his place. At first Abby protested, but then she saw that it made sense. Becker's place was smaller, so Jess would have less distance to cover. Becker was quieter than Abby and Connor, so Jess might actually get some rest. Becker was obsessive about caring for Jess so she would be in good hands.

Jess didn't care one way or the other. She looking forward to a week or more playing patient, even if it was Becker playing caregiver.

The next morning, Abby and Emily kept Jess company. She was quiet and distant. She hardly participated in conversation at all. She missed Becker. The women assured her that he'd be there soon. He was tidying his flat. Jess seemed sullen to Abby, but she reminded herself that Jess had been through a lot.

Finally Becker returned and Jess was discharged. He took Jess straight to his flat. He even carried her into his bedroom, which made Jess blush. It was ready for her. The bed was made. The drawers were emptied, and there were even fresh flowers on the bedside table.

"Daisies, my favorite," she said, and Becker smiled. He placed her pills on the table and brought her some tea and chocolate. He had a recliner chair positioned directly across from the bed. He made himself comfy in the chair, and there they were, in his bedroom in the middle of the afternoon. They promptly fell asleep.

Emily and Abby arrived a few hours later, bringing bags of Jess' clothes, toiletries, and other personal items. They brought her laptop, iPod, several of her favorite DVDs, and a ton of chocolate. Jess would be homebound for a while and they didn't want her bored.

Jess tried walking to the living room couch, and every painful step she took made him wince. She made it halfway there, when she just couldn't go any further, so he carried her to the couch.

Emily helped Becker build a 'nest,' for her on the couch. They cushioned her sides and back with lots of pillows. They arranged the remotes, her vast assortment of electronic entertainment, meds, drinks, and snacks all within grabbing distance. Knowing Jess, Becker wanted no excuse for her straining anything.

Becker had taken the next few days off, which surprised the ARC gossip vine. Becker taking time off was like snow falling in the Sahara. Becker's two lieutenants would be in command, but they would stay in contact with him.

Abby and Emily stayed for a little while, but it was clear that she wasn't up to much besides sleeping, so they left. Jess fell asleep on the couch, as the TV ran in the background.

Becker looked at the sleeping Jess. He wasn't going to move her. He went to the bedroom and got some pillows and blankets. He moved the table slightly, grimacing when it screeched across the floor.

"What are you doing?" asked Jess.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," he said.

"But what are you doing?"

"Well, I didn't want to move you, and I thought f you're sleeping there, then I'm sleeping here," he said, indicating the floor beside the couch.

"You're close enough to me in the bedroom."

Becker laughed. He said, without thinking, "I can't ever get close enough to you."

Then paused, and looked at Jess.

She smiled. "Good night," she said simply.

"I can carry you to the bed."

Jess shook her head, and within three seconds she was back asleep.

"Good night, Jess," whispered Becker, crawling into his makeshift bed.

End Chapter Five


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six, Broken

In the middle of the night Becker was awoken by a bloodcurdling scream.

He scrambled out of the make-shift bed and raced to her side. Carefully, he took her in his arms.

"I'm so sorry," she blubbered as he held her tenderly.

"It's all right, just a nightmare."

"When will it stop?"

"Soon, Jess, soon."

She whimpered and cried inside his arms. Becker didn't want to push her, but the nightmare was maybe a sign of emotional turmoil.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head 'no.'

"Ok," he said. "Just know that you can."

She nodded 'yes,' and buried her head deeper in his embrace.

"Are you still OK on the couch?"

"Can we go to the bed?"

"Sure," he said. He eased himself up, with Jess in his arms, wincing every time she gasped in pain. He carried her to his bedroom, and gently laid her down, but as he did so, she said, "Save room for you."

He smiled. She was too hurt and loopy for him to worry that she had a double meaning in mind. He did as she asked, and laid her down far enough over so he could crawl in with her.

They lay quietly for a while. It took longer this time for Jess to fall asleep. He could feel her fingers rubbing delicately along his chest. He kissed her forehead, but mostly lay still beside her. Finally the movement of her fingers stopped and he figured she was asleep.

This time it was four hours until she woke up, but she didn't scream. She was scared for a moment, and then realized that she was in bed with Becker. She was safe. He was there. She slowed down her panicked breathing and lay still.

"Another bad dream?" he asked.

"I thought you were asleep."

"No."

"I'm sorry, Becker. I'm so much trouble."

"You're not."

"I am, don't lie."

Becker chuckled. "OK, maybe a little tiny bit, but you're worth it."

Jess sighed. "Thank you, for taking care of me, for being at my side all that time."

"No thanks needed. I'm glad you're here."

She smiled.

"Jess, what was the dream?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"OK. You don't have to, but maybe it would help."

Jess was sure that it would not. She said simply, "Maybe later."

Becker nodded. He hoped he was doing the right thing, not pushing, but it was what the doctor advised. He hated her in pain and worrying. Eventually they both fell asleep.

The next day Jess was stronger, walking more, and wincing less in pain. She was also silent and withdrawn, even with Becker.

"Jess," said Becker, "Maybe we should make an appointment with a counselor."

"No."

"Just to have someone to talk with."

"No."

"Jess, you need to talk about it."

"I don't. I'm fine."

That was always her answer, "I'm fine."

Becker really tried not to push, but this sullen, quiet, distant Jess was not his Jess. How much time was too much time? Should he make her see someone?

It was the night after the second day at Becker's when Jess broke. She and Becker were asleep in his bed, when she woke up with a blood-curdling scream. She was sweaty and her pulse was racing.

She tried to get off Becker and screamed again, this time in pain.

"I hate this!" she yelled. "I'm so pathetic! I'm weak, and stupid." She sobbed hysterically.

"No, you're not," he said. "Not at all."

"But, I'm fine," she said, crying, "Just sore. I'm barely hurt."

"That's not true Jess," he said, but she shook her head.

"It is true."

"Jess, you've been through something horrible."

"Why can't I get it out of my head? That...thing is in my head. I see its teeth. I see it...biting...Habib," she said, tears interrupting. "Its claws tear...Lisa...apart. It's coming for me."

"I'm so sorry Jess," he said trying to grab her. She pulled away.

"I shouldn't be so scared. I shouldn't be..."

"Jess, stop, of course you should. You were cornered by a freaking dinosaur. You watched it...what it did to people you knew. Of course you should be upset, and scared," he said kindly.

Suddenly, Jess acted like she was in control. "I'm fine. I'm sorry to be a basket case. I'm fine."

"Jess, that's not true. You are not fine. You were there, in that room with that thing."

"And it killed all the others, but not me, I'm fine. I have no right to be..."

"Right, Jess? Of course you have a right. It was terrifying. You thought you were going to die."

"But I didn't die. I'm fine."

"Jess, you're in denial. You're trying to pretend that nothing happened, that you're fine," he said calmly.

"I am fine!"

"No, you're not."

"I am! You saved me. All I have are bruises. I'm alive, I'm physically fine. I'm not...I wasn't...torn to shreds...my blood wasn't smeared...pieces of me across the floor." She sobbed hysterically, and when Becker tried to touch her she pulled away.

"Ow," she whined. "I was lucky, the others weren't. Lisa's gone. Allen's gone. They didn't make it! Jasmine and Habib didn't make it! Here I am blubbering because I'm beat up! I have no right because I'm fine!"

That's when it hit Becker, Jess had survivor's guilt, or a form. She felt guilty because she had escaped. The words 'I'm fine' meant something different to her. It was a confession, 'I survived.'

Becker looked at her helplessly, and tears formed in his eyes. At the sight of those tears, Jess completely broke down. "Why? I got away! You pulled me from the wreckage. You saved me. So why can't I be happy? Why can't I just get over it and be normal? Is it ever going to stop? Will I ever stop seeing that creature? I just want to stop seeing it," she sobbed.

"And those screams," she said, putting her hands to her ears. "I'm never going to stop hearing the screams. They're dead and I'm worried about hearing them scream. It should have been me. They should be alive. Why am I still here? Why me and not them?"

"Oh, Jess," he whispered, sadly. "I don't know. I don't know why some people survive and others don't. I've asked that question literally, a hundred times. Why me? Why did Sara die? She was smarter than me, nicer than me, and I was supposed to protect her. It should have been me. I wanted it to be me. But it wasn't and I don't know why."

Jess allowed him to gently ease her back into his arms. She buried her head in his chest.

"I don't know why you made it, Jess. I'm glad you did. I couldn't survive without you. You're beautiful, kind, caring, sweet, and you bring joy to everyone who meets you. You hurt so much right now because you feel guilty. It breaks your heart that not everyone survived. You are incredibly unselfish, so how can you acknowledge your pain, when there are those who died?"

"You know, that creature didn't destroy you. You're stronger than it, even now. You are the strong, confident, stubborn, Jess Parker."

She listened, not taking offense, sobbing in gasps. Becker continued.

"I know that once you allow yourself to heal, then that Jess is going to take over, like she does at the ARC. That Jess is going to hop up on her ridiculous heels and stroll into the ARC with all its creatures. You know why? Because she's a fighter. Show me another 19 year old who has dozens of lives in her hands every day, and brings them home, alive and well. That's why you're going to make yourself go back, to save lives."

Jess was quiet. His words soothed her. Her breathing eased. She even smiled weakly at the 'ridiculous heels' reference. She had never heard Becker talk so much, or heard such raw emotion. She focused on Becker: his words and the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. He was her lifeline, guiding her through the mist and haze.

"What if...I can't? I'm so scared, Becker. What if I can't find that Jess?"

"No one is going to stop loving you."

He heard her sigh deeply, with relief. That had been her fear. People would think less of her. He would think less.

Becker seemed to understand. "Of course you have doubts. I know. I quit the ARC, remember? I was sure I couldn't do it. I was sure I didn't want it anymore. I found out that I was wrong. That's all I want, is for you to find what you need, and I will help you, even if it's not the ARC. You're going to feel safe again. I promise and I promise that I'll be here the entire way, right beside you. You're not alone, Jess."

She stopped sobbing. Her breathing slowed to normal, and she sat in his arms clutching onto him. They sat that way forever. Finally Becker eased her back into bed, still holding her. That's how they fell asleep, and they slept completely through the night, with no whimpers or screams.

Jess woke up the next morning before Becker. She was still encircled in his arms. She nestled into his chest, and simply took in his warmth, his strength. She had never felt so safe. She craned her neck to see his face. She smiled.

He looked peaceful, and of course, incredibly handsome. She wriggled out her arm, and gently touched his cheek. She'd seen him shoot ferocious creatures, tackle dangerous, crazy humans, and even blow things up. Last night he had sat with her, comforting and cuddling her, treating her more kindly and tenderly than anyone ever had.

She loved him. She absolutely, completely loved him. It was no longer a crush. It wasn't even because he'd saved her. She loved him simply because he cared so much, and not just about her. She'd seen him in the field gently comforting a civilian he'd just saved from horrible death. She'd seen his anguish when Abby, Connor, and Danny were lost, and his grief over Sara's death. The infatuation she felt from reading his file before she'd even met him had grown into full-blown, deep love.

It didn't even matter if he didn't love her. It was an honor to know this man and to have fallen for him. But she hoped, by some miracle that maybe someday he would love her.

Becker opened his eyes and smiled into hers. She smiled back. "Morning, beautiful," he said.

"Morning," she said simply. "Did you sleep?" she asked.

He smiled brightly, saying, "Better than I have in years."

She flushed slightly, and said, "Me too."

His eyebrow rose. "Honestly, Jess? Or is this 'I'm fine?" he asked. He had no bitterness, or anything else in his tone. It was just a question.

She laughed an honest, pure laugh. "Honestly, I promise. I slept, and I think I'm feeling better. I mean, it sort of feels like a...knot's been broken. I feel lighter."

Becker smiled, and his eyes shone with relief. "Good," he said kissing her head. "I hope so, but..."

"Take my time?"

"Yes," he said, kissing her hand, "And in that time you'll probably need to unload again."

"You don't mind?"

"Not in the slightest. I just want you better."

End of Chapter Six


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven, Broken

Jess was doing better. Her bruises hurt less, and she was able to move around more. She thought often Lisa, Habib, Allen, and Jasmine. Becker was still off from the ARC. She felt like dead weight sometimes. Becker did everything. He cooked, cleaned up after her, did the laundry and dishes, and he nursed her back to health—making sure she took her medicine, did her therapeutic exercises, and didn't exert her injuries.

Jess spent the day on her computer, or watching television, and sometimes she'd watch a movie with Becker. Though, she kind of regretted introducing him to "The Day After Tomorrow."

"OK, there is no way that pilot would freeze up so fast, even if it is an ice age," said Becker.

"Yes, you're right, but it is a cool effect...ha ha, no pun intended," said Jess happily.

"They're going to walk to New York, in an ice age? Really?" said Becker.

"Again, not the point. It's a movie."

"That ship would never just float in; there are too many buildings in the way, not to mention all the debris in the way. If it did, come on, it landed right in front of their building?"

"Becker! Movie! Relax."

"No offense, Jess, but this movie is kind of dumb."

"I like it," she said.

"OK, I'm sorry."

Jess hadn't been angry though. How could she be after everything he had done for her?

Emily and Abby showed up later, and Abby was also pleased to find a more talkative Jess.

"Has the Captain bought you the shoes yet?" asked Emily.

"And the outfits," added Jess. "Not yet. I've kept him busy. He's been taking good care of me," she said, tearing up.

Abby held her hand. "That's what you do when you love someone."

Jess was glad Becker wasn't in the room. She knew he cared for her, but the l word? That was a lot to ask of the quiet, reserved soldier.

Abby changed the topic back to shoes. "I'm surprised you haven't purchased them off the internet."

Jess eyes bulged out and she got a wicked grin. "Becker? Can I have your credit card?"

Matt and Connor arrived with an assortment of dinners, meeting the vast array of tastes.

"Ooh!" she exclaimed, "You went to the Tuscan Garden! That's become one of my favorites since Becker introduced me to it. I haven't been inside yet, just takeaway. Becker says it's like a picturesque Italian town inside."

"Yeah," said Matt, grinning at her happy chatter. "It's cute inside. Emily you'd love it."

"We shall go sometime," said Emily. "Perhaps make a group night of it, once Jess is better."

"Ooh, fun!" announced an almost giddy Jess. "Anyone mind if I eat all the Chicken Parmagana?"

Everyone looked at their field coordinator and smiled. She dug in, eating non-stop.

"Your appetite's fine," mused Connor.

Becker felt tears welling up. He had been terrified that she's slip back into that "I'm fine" depression, but it wasn't happening. He knew it could, she might wakeup screaming, or lose it like before, but for now she genuinely seemed alright.

They had a nice, friendly evening. Becker watched, amused as Jess and Emily poured over shopping sites on her computer.

"How much is that going to cost you?" asked Matt.

Becker looked at how excited Jess was the happy grin, the chattering with Emily.

"I really don't care," he said.

Matt smiled. "Some things are priceless."

After their company left, Becker watched Jess slowly walking around.

"You're feeling better," he said.

She smiled.

"Jess, maybe I should sleep out here tonight."

She frowned. "If you want to."

He grinned. "I didn't say I wanted to, but I don't think you need me..."

"Yes I do!" she stopped suddenly, realizing how desperate that sounded. "I mean, what if I have a nightmare, or something?"

Becker looked into her eyes intently. He really didn't want to let her go, even for one night. "I just think that we should prepare. I mean you're going to have to sleep alone sometime, when you go back home."

Jess hadn't realized how at home she felt here. The idea of leaving this flat and him was unbearable, and it had only been a few days.

"I guess I forgot that I had to go back home," she said with a sad chuckle.

Becker smiled. "If it was up to me you wouldn't."

Jess looked hopefully at him. "Who's it up to?"

Becker laughed. "I guess it is up to us. It's just...I don't want to push you...or move too fast."

Jess couldn't take it any longer, she moved closer to him, and kissed him. It wasn't exactly a perfect, dreamlike moment.

"Ow!"

"Oh, God, Jess! I'm so sorry."

"It's not you...my stupid lip." Jess began to cry. "I hate this! I hate being hurt!"

Becker picked her up and carried her to the bed, crawling in with her.

"I know," he said softly. He pulled the blanket over them both.

Jess cuddled with him, her tears going away. As they lay there, she sighed contently.

"Of course, there are side benefits," she said, and Becker chuckled. They lay in silence for a bit.

Becker said, "Jess, you can stay here as long as you want."

"How about forever," she said, sleepily.

Becker grinned. "OK."

Jess craned her neck to look at him. He smiled at her. "Jess...I uh..." He sighed. He was such a coward. Finally he closed his eyes, and just blurted out, "I think I love you."

He opened his eyes to see her smiling widely.

"I know that I love you," she said. "And don't you worry about how you feel." She yawned. "You have forever to figure it out."

He laughed. "I don't really need that long."

"You don't?" she asked, happily nestled into his chest.

"No, Jess. I already know. I love you."

She smiled. He heard her sigh contently. Just before she drifted off to sleep, she mumbled. "Love you, too."

End of Chapter 7


	8. Chapter 8

Rating: some adult situations, and language. It's still rated T though.

Chapter Eight

Becker was being ridiculous and cruel. It was torture, absolute torture.

He wouldn't kiss her.

Yes, her lips were bruised, cut, and still healing. It had been two whole days since Becker and she had confessed their love. Every time she looked at him, she zeroed in on those lips of his. She desperately wanted to kiss them.

She was getting stronger every day. Most of the bruises had faded. Her back still hurt when used. Her abdomen hurt when touched. She had to take things slowly. But did she have to take everything, so excruciatingly slow?

Becker knew the tension between them was becoming hard to ignore. He had a plan. He couldn't kiss her lips. Luckily, large parts of her body were bruise free. He waited till she was especially grumpy, and scooted up next to her on the couch.

Jess didn't move, but kept watching TV.

Becker snuggled close, brushing her hair from one ear, and then he licked the length of her ear, nibbling on the lobe.

Jess shuddered as he moved down her neck, kissing slowly. He reached her collarbone and nibbled more.

She gasped and moaned. "Oh," she said, "I like that. I do, very much."

He smiled, and moved to a spot under her chin, and licked.

"Ahh," she gasped. "Oh, keep going down. " Her voice turned husky. "Lower."

He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Jess, we can't." When he saw her pout, he quickly feared she'd get the wrong idea. "Oh, I want to, believe me, but you're still hurt, not to mention on some heavy medicine still."

"The only medicine I need is you," she said with a growl.

He smiled. He was seriously aroused, and wanted her right then and there. However, he wouldn't give in to his desire. Not yet, anyway.

"Jess, when you and I make love, I want you healthy. I want you bristling from my touch in a good way, and not because of pain. Well, there should be a certain kind of pain, but if I think about that now, I'm going to throw you on the coffee table and take you right there."

"Oh, god," she said, heat going to her neck, her face, and between her legs. "Oh, please do."

Becker was about to lose it. "I want to show you how much I love you," he whispered.

She grabbed his collar. "I want you so badly." She moved to kiss him back, but had to shift her body. Pain shot through her back. She cried out, wincing and sobbing. She leaned into him, crying.

He held her, helpless to do anything but reassure her.

"Soon, Jess. It won't be much longer. You'll be all healed. Soon we'll be together. I promise."

Two days later, Jess sat on Becker's bed, a black and red, pleated, plaid mini skirt, lie next to her, alongside a simple red peasant top. It was her 'ambush' outfit. She was preparing for the first phase of her 'first night' plan. The long, impossible wait to be with Hilary Becker was nearly over.

She had been to the doctor that morning, and it was fabulous. The doctor saw no reason that she couldn't return to work tomorrow. He cautioned her to take it easy, but also told her to start returning to her normal routine.

Jess asked, shyly, if she could engage in...romantic activities and he smiled kindly. He told her to listen to her body; it would tell her when something was too much. He told her that barring anything...unusually strenuous, it should be fine.

Jess was positively giddy. Tonight she would be with the man she loved. And he didn't know! She smiled impishly at the thought of surprising him. Tonight would be perfect.

She went to work, planning the night out, and the night in, as soon as she got back from the doctor. She waited nervously for Becker's return, praying feverously that there be no anomalies.

Part one of the evening's itinerary: their first real kiss. She had been dreaming of and longing for it, well, since she met him, but for the past week it had been horrible, because it was so close. Today, though she was so incredibly happy. She thought about taking a taxi to the ARC and pouncing on Becker, where ever he was, and snogging him breathless.

She didn't, of course. Then she had gotten the wonderful news at the doctor's. Everything was finally falling into place for her and Becker. It was now about an hour till Becker got home, and she was preparing herself. She looked at the poor, neglected tube in her hands and caressed it lovingly: her favorite, deep red lipstick.

"Hilary Becker," she said aloud, "Prepare to be ambushed."

Becker came home to find the living room strangely silent. In fact the whole flat was silent. He was on the verge of panic, when he heard the frantic, but familiar clicking of heels.

Jess jumped on him, throwing her arms around his neck, and snogged the hell out of him.

He was caught completely by surprise. Her lips felt soft, and gentle, he only faintly felt the scar. She held onto him, slowly moving her lips against his, first this way and then that way. They kissed long, but not hard. He held her off the ground, carefully supporting her delicate back.

Finally, they pulled apart, only to gasp for breath. Filling their lungs, they returned right back to kissing. Becker moved them to the couch, with Jess on top. She was finally kissing the man she loved, and he unashamedly kissed her back. They remained tangled for nearly an hour.

"Sorry I ambushed you," she said.

He smiled. "No you're not."

She smiled cheekily. "Yeah, you're right."

Becker smirked and kissed her lightly, moving down her neck.

"As lovely, as this is," said Jess, struggling to concentrate. "I'm starving."

Becker abruptly stopped. "You're kidding, right? You've been whining, and sulking and trying to seduce me for days, and now you want to go eat?"

"Yes," she said innocently. "I made reservations. Just let me change, and then we'll get started."

"Started, on what?"

"Our night, Becker." She said, pausing in the doorway.

"Wait, Jess, first of all why change? You look gorgeous."

Jess smiled seductively, "I know. Thank you. But this is my 'ambush gear,' so now I have to put something 'first date' on."

Becker's face fell, and Jess worried that she had totally misread him and gone too far.

"I wanted to arrange our first night out," he said, disappointed.

"Oh, you are just so sweet," she said, skipping up and kissing him. "I'm sorry, but it's all arranged. And if we don't take advantage of it, I'm going to go insane."

Becker chuckled. Giving in, he said, "Ok. I guess I'll plan our second date."

"Perfect," said Jess. "Now, excuse me just a moment and like I said, we'll get started."

"So, you have a plan."

"Oh," said Jess, posing provocatively in the doorway. "I have plans."

End of Chapter Eight


	9. Chapter 9

This is heavily edited. When I first posted this, it was really adult. This site has restrictions on adult material, so I've edited out the explicit stuff. It's still fairly mature, so there is an author's note half way through this. You can stop reading there and move to the next chapter, if you're sensitive or underage.

Chapter Nine, Broken

Jess had Becker drive to his favorite restaurant, the Tuscan Garden, the one she'd been dying to see inside. It was just as charming as he had described. The walls were decorated like a small Italian village. It was quaint and rustic. Everyone there knew Becker, and she felt instantly welcomed like family.

Becker was touched that she'd chosen a place dear to him, that he wanted to share with her. The corner they sat in was intimate and quiet. He and Jess talked like their lives were carefree, which of course, they weren't. Then the meal came. She tried something new, commenting that she was going to eventually work her way through everything on the menu. Becker was delighted. She had fallen for his favorite restaurant.

She devoured her food, and some of his. She bashfully ordered more food, starting on that plan to go through the menu. This had the owners, friends of his for years, in love with her. They kept bringing food, and he finally had to stop them, afraid Jess would overdo it and get sick.

After dinner Jess told Becker to drive by the canal. They strolled hand in hand in the early evening. Jess knew Becker wouldn't want her to walk too much, plus she was feeling a bit full. So, they found a spot by the waterfront, and sat, cuddling, making out, and staring at each other.

Finally, Jess had them driving home, to Becker's.

"Perfect first date, Jess. Brilliant," he said, kissing her inside the doorway.

"I thought so," she said, taking off her light pink shoes.

Becker had been slightly surprised by the 'first date outfit.' It was a long, white summer dress with delicate butterflies in all colors flying all over it. It was sort of fifties style, more cute than sexy, not that she didn't look sexy, but more of a sweet sexy. Her hair had been combed to one side, and secured in a down, lopsided pony-tail.

She wore blue enameled butterfly dangle earrings. She added a light green cardigan to the ensemble, down at the canal when it got cool. Her arm was adorned by a thick green bracelet. Her pink shoes were actually flats, light pink, shiny and very sparkly.

"Now, please wait here, while I get ready."

"Ready? What did you have in mind?" he asked.

She smiled seductively. "Well…I thought we'd spend our first real night together….as lovers." She bushed.

Becker looked longingly at her. He wanted her, but couldn't shut off his protective mode. "Jess, maybe we should call it a night."

"Not yet, please."

Becker looked worried; he really didn't want her to overdo it. She was mending so well.

Jess saw his worry. "Trust me, please. I honestly wouldn't do anything I wasn't ready for. I know how that would worry and hurt you."

Becker smiled and kissed her. "I trust you, and I want to be with you."

She smiled with adoration. "Good," she said.

Author's Note, Stop here if you're sensitive or underage, and got to next chapter.

She turned on her heels and headed for the bedroom. Jess had been dreaming, well, ok, planning their first night together since he'd said he loved her. Jess had a tendency to over plan, and revise her plans, and revise her revisions. In short, she couldn't decide on the perfect outfit to wear on their first night together—really together.

Her first outfit choice was a naughty black nightie with passion red accents, red knickers, and red slippers. She decided it was too "Mulan Rouge."

Her second outfit choice was a passion purple lingerie set: a see-through robe with dark purple boa trim and a bra and panty set that was lavender with dark lace trimming that matched the robe. She was going to accent it with lime green heels, that Becker couldn't object too because she wouldn't be wearing them long. It seemed too much, or little, for their first night.

Her third choice was a baby doll in powder blue with matching knickers. It was sweet and innocent and said 'I'm ready to stop being a girl and be your woman.' She paired it with navy, high-heeled slippers and a bright pink lip gloss, both of which she planned to have Becker take immediately off.

This was the one she decided to go with. She set everything aside, in the top drawer beside the bed before they went to dinner.

She walked into the room, took the arranged outfit and accessories out of the drawer and threw them in her suitcase. They weren't right either. She sat on the bed. Her perfect, potential lover was waiting in the next room and she didn't know what to wear. Maybe she should just open the door naked.

Jess closed her eyes and stopped thinking of clothes. She thought of Becker.

Jess opened the door after a few minutes. Becker sat excitedly on the back of the couch. He didn't know exactly what Jess had planned, but he had an idea. He rose at the sound of the door and took in the sight.

Jess stood in front of him barefoot. She had a pale, sheer pink lip gloss on but no other makeup. Her hair was lying naturally around her shoulders. She wore no accessories. She had on a crisp white, simple nightgown that ended just above her knees.

It was adorned with little white pearls, lace trim, and some kind of white, embossed embroidery. It had a sweetheart neckline and lace cap sleeves that ended near the top of her arms. The fit of the nightgown tapered into her waist, showing that she had one, then branched off ever so slightly so that it did not hug her curves, but coyly hinted at them. It was classic and elegant, but still very alluring.

Becker caught his breath at the sight of her. "Jess," he said. "You look like an angel," he whispered reverently. He walked slowly around her, his eyes meeting hers as she followed him with her gaze. It was incredibly sexy.

He stopped in front of her, leaned in close and whispered, "A heavenly, desirable," and looking down at the nightgown, "extremely fashionable angel."

She chuckled delightedly. "Oh, Becker," she said sweetly. "You know just how to sweet talk me." She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he pulled her up slightly.

Their lips met tenderly, and slowly they kissed, shallowly at first and then they opened into the kiss. They picked up speed, kissing with an intensity that bordered on desperation. They kissed until they were absolutely breathless. Becker lowered her to the ground, and they leaned into each other. She gasped for breath against his chest, as he gasped into her hair.

Finally, he pulled back, but remained in her embrace. "Jessica Parker," he said with the most tender voice she had ever heard saying her name, "May I please make love to you?"

Jess' heartbeat immediately increased. She caught her breath, and batted back tears. "Yes, Hilary Becker, I truly wish you would." They smiled at each other with tender, loving looks in their eyes.

Becker effortlessly scooped her into his arms. He walked slowly into the bedroom, never taking his eyes from hers. He laid her gently on the bed.

She watched silently as he removed his shoes, undid his belt. She shyly continued to watch as he removed his shirt and then undid his trousers, removing them completely. He stood momentarily in front of her wearing just his black boxers and black socks.

She stifled a giggle.

"What?" He asked indignantly. "I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I really see no reason to laugh. I look good nearly naked."

She smiled with amusement, and nodded in agreement. "Oh, yes, yes you do."

"Then why the laughter?"

She pointed at his socks and boxers. "Black, Becker?"

He raised his head and laughed. "Old habits..."

The mood which had suddenly turned light, quickly returned to slightly lustful, as Becker bent down, crawling onto the bed, positioning himself over her. Then he leaned in and kissed her passionately. His hands went to her hips, caressing the sides, lowering slowly down her legs.

Jess came up for air, moaning at Becker's touch. She grabbed his face and kissed down it, along his neck. She nuzzled lightly into his collarbone, making him moan softly. Her hands found his chest and scratched lightly, running her fingers through his chest hair.

Becker gently pulled the nightgown down and completely off. Jess blushed as Becker looked at her. He paused, smiled, and leaned in, slowly kissing her flesh. Jess shivered at his touch.

"Becker," she whispered.

Becker kissed his way down her body. He chuckled lightly as she blushed when he removed his boxers.

They shared a look. It said, 'I'm ready.'

He was as gentle as he could be. He also paid attention—to her moans, her facial expressions. He did his best to make sure she enjoyed it.

She looked into his eyes. He was so...attentive. She let him guide her, taking her to that heavenly place.

They lay there, gasping for breath. He looked into her face, and she smiled. He smiled back, hugging her close as they cuddled.

"No one's ever made love to me like that before," she said softly.

Becker smiled. "I've never wanted to make love like that before. Promise me something?" He asked, taking her chin in his hand.

"What?"

"No one but me, ever."

"No one but you ever," she said like a sacred vow, which it was. She bent her head to focus on his well-toned chest. She moved her fingers, tracing the lines in his ribcage. "I promise." After a few moments, she moved her head back to look him in his eyes. "And no one but me, ever?" She asked innocently.

Becker snickered in amazement. It was a ridiculous question. He smiled, in complete contentment, and assured her. "No one but you, ever." They exchanged happy smiles, and Jess laid her head on his chest.

They said in unison, "I love you."

End Chapter Nine


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten, Conclusion, Broken

Jess felt better than she had since the 'incident.' She was physically healed. Emotionally, she was probably as healed as she'd get.

She glanced at Becker, sipping coffee in his kitchen. She sighed happily. They were finally together, completely. Having a gorgeous, kind, and nearly perfect boyfriend would fix just about any woman.

Still, she was nervous. It was a big day: Jess' first day back at the ARC. She was excited, but dreading it. What if all she saw and heard were the images of the dinosaur killing her friends?

As if reading her mind, Becker walked over to her, and gently kissed her. He'd be at her side the entire time.

"Let's go," she said with a smile. Becker took her hand, and gently squeezed it.

They walked into the ARC, Becker holding her hand tightly. The further she got, the more people she reunited with, the calmer and more confident she felt. She still had the control room to approach though. Becker leaned down and kissed her. She smiled, and nodded. She could do this.

They marched into the room. There was no monster, no dead bodies, and no ghosts. She saw smiling faces of other co-workers and friends. Jess couldn't help the reaction that suddenly came to her.

"Good morning!" She announced bright and chirpy. "How are we all this morning?"

The people in the control room were delighted to see her. They hugged and chatted. Jess did most of the talking, and that seemed to be fine with everyone.

She greeted each person with cheerful little comments.

"Oh, Suzanne, that hairdo, is simply smashing! You must show me how to do it, and soon."

"Good morning, Robert. How are you? Did you and your wife ever go on that weekend holiday?" She asked. She stood there and patiently listened. "Oh, that is wonderful." She moved on to the next person.

"Esther, dear, sweet Esther. Thank you so much for covering for me. Two double shifts! You poor thing! This is for you, just a little token of my sincere appreciation." Jess brought out a cellophane bag tied with ribbon.

Then Jess looked over at the new ADD. It looked just like the old one. Where she and her deceased co-workers had met the creature.

Suzanne saw her tense and brought something over to her. It was a picture collage of the four lost ARC members. Jess cried at the sight, but thought it was a nice memorial. Jess asked if she could keep it at her station for a while. Suzanne agreed with a hug.

Robert brought a mug of tea for her, and soon Jess was back to her chirpy, chatty self catching up on mission stories, ARC gossip, and horror stories of trying to get the computers to all work without her.

Becker stood at the bottom of the stairs that led up to Lester's office. He watched his girlfriend with amusement, and a slightly lovesick grin. He had wondered how they should play their first morning at work now that they were a couple. They decided to just let events unfold naturally.

Which they had. Becker watched Jess move to another co-worker, still cheerful and chatty. Then he noticed someone quietly sneaking up on him, or so she thought.

"Good morning, Emily," he said without turning.

She smiled. "Good morning, Captain." He responded with a happy grin. "Jess looks very happy," she said

Becker actually beamed. "Yes, she does," he said with pride.

"She's a different woman today," Emily began, "Actually, no, she's not different. She had been different, but now she's back to Jess."

Becker let out a long, relieved sigh. "I know," he said. He blinked tears away, and turned sheepishly away from sight.

"Allergies are bad this time of year," snickered Emily. Becker mock-glared at her and smirked. "We all do love her, you know," she said simply.

"I know."

"And we love you too," she said, which earned an incredulous look and raised eyebrow from Becker. She smiled and said, "You brought her back to us."

"I had help, including you."

"Yes, but I think this," she nodded at Jess, "Is all because of you, Captain, indeed, I am quite positive," she said with a grin. Then she approached Jess.

"Welcome back," she called softly, opening her arms.

"Emily!" She squealed with delight, running into her.

"Hello," came Lester's authoritative voice, "This is a place of business, not..." he was hastily cut off by Jess.

"Lester!" She cried with glee. Lester looked at her with alarm as she jogged passed Becker with a hushed, "hi, sweetie," and toddled up the stairs toward him. Becker looked on amused.

Lester backed away, putting his hands up defensively, "Please don't hurt me," he said in a panic.

Jess wrapped her arms around his neck, giggling, "You are too silly for words. I missed you. I took the liberty of picking up some of those almond biscuits you like so much," she said searching her bag, as Lester looked nervously at the amused faces in the hub.

"And..." she announced, producing a tin and a small bottle, "some aged gin, you're preferred brand and year." She presented them to him proudly. Only Lester saw the raw, honest emotion in her eyes and the soundless whisper of "thank you."

He was genuinely overcome, but he had enough sense and composure to control it. "Well, if you insist Miss Parker, thank you." He announced loudly and in complaint, "About time someone in my employ learned how to properly express their respect for my authority. Extremely appropriate Parker. You lot take notes." He turned sharply on his heels, stepped into his office, and stopped inside, facing Jess, about to close the door. He smiled sweetly at her, and nodded. She nodded back. He then closed the door and went about his business, which was opening the gin.

Jess spun around, very proud of herself, and stood, simply taking in the view. Her ARC. Even after the horrors she had witnessed, it was her ARC and her control room. Her beloved ADD, her understanding associates, and of course, just a few feet from her, staring at her with adoration, her Becker. This was what Becker had talked about; finding out where her heart told her she belonged, even if it was now a little bittersweet. She saw him smiling at her.

She wanted to jump into his arms and kiss him till she got dizzy. However, she was a professional and proud of it. Making out with her boyfriend in full view of her co-workers, not to mention, the boss, would not be appropriate.

"Jess!" she heard the unmistakable, excited voice of Connor Temple. He ran up the stairs, and enveloped her in a bear hug, then withdrew quickly and swore. "Oh, god, I'm so sorry. I forgot. Did I hurt you?"

Jess giggled. "Calm down, Connor. No, you did not. I'm nearly bruise-free, and happily, without pain. Thank you for your concern, though."

Matt was next, pulling her close.

Abby jogged up and warmly embraced Jess, sighing in relief. "I missed you so much. I am just so happy you're back." she said.

Lester's door opened, "Must you host your little social hour in front of my office?" he complained, holding the gin. "I AM TRYING TO RUN AN IMPORTANT AND BLOODY AGGRAVATING OPERATION HERE," he bellowed at them. Lester breathed steadily, extinguishing his temper tantrum, and returned to his office.

The team moved dutifully away from the office, suppressing laughter.

"Come on," said Becker, "you heard the bellowing of our boss," and he started to shoo them all to their places, but Jess interrupted.

"I have to tell you all something, especially Connor and Abby. I'm sorry Becker, but it has to be now because of Lester's mood and the likelihood of an anomaly soon..." Jess rambled but then stopped, looking uneasy at Becker, who nodded.

Abby felt dread creep up, "What's wrong?'

"Oh! Nothing Abby, honestly. I'm sorry to be so melodramatic. It's just kind of a big deal."

"A good, but big deal," said Becker.

"Oh, yes, it is definitely good," said Jess exchanging happy smiles with Becker.

"What is it you two?" asked Matt.

Becker walked over to Jess, and pulled her into a gentle, tender kiss.

Abby dropped her mouth. Emily smiled. Matt shook his head with an amused grin, and Connor whistled lowly nodding in approval.

Becker released her, and she held on to his chest a moment. Becker simply stared them all down, challenging any comments.

Jess chuckled. "Well, I guess it's obvious. Becker and I are together."

"Yay," said Abby cheering softly.

"That's brilliant" said Connor.

Matt smiled and nodded.

Emily said, "I am very happy for you."

"Thank you," said Jess. She looked at Connor and Abby uneasily. "I...just don't know how to tell you. I want to move in with Becker."

Abby smirked.

"It's not that I don't love you guys. I love living with you. It's just..."

"We're not him," said Connor with a smirk, pointing at Becker.

"We'll miss you too, but you should do what your heart says," said Abby.

Emily piped up, "We will all be more than happy to relocate your belongings, I am sure," she said glancing around.

"Definitely," said Abby.

"Can we keep the flat?" asked Connor. Abby elbowed him.

Jess smiled. She was moving in with Becker. She could wake up with him, eat with him, shower with him, and sleep with him. She never had to leave. She knew her relationship with Becker had been a good consequence of that horrible day.

She still didn't know why she was the one who survived. She knew she had to live with it, like Becker. She understood him now, the pain and guilt he felt. He knew what she was going through too. It was another consequence, good and bad. Jess looked at the photos on her desk of the people who had not been granted a second chance.

She promised not to waste the one she'd been given.

The End


End file.
